One of my dear sister-friends called and said that she needed to candidly share something with me because she knew I could relate: she was experiencing a "love hangover". And it sounded like it too! Her words were kind of sluggish and this woman, who is normally never at a loss for words, was stumbling over her sentences. Had she not opened the conversation with a full disclaimer that she had not been drinking, one may have assumed that she was drunk ha, ha.
Wives, I'm sure you can attest to the times you shared a climatic sexual experience with your husband that left you day-dreaming, reminiscing and replaying the encounter over and over in your head...long after it was over. Even the next day, whenever you thought about it, you felt giddy and flighty all day. I am not sure if this is something that husbands go through. But I KNOW wives do.
Yet, this "nirvana" that my sis described was far deeper than that!! While she recognized that the sexual experience was explosive and great, this time it was different. It was PHENOMENAL!! And it left her with only enough energy to complete her morning devotional, drop off her children at school, take her husband to work and call me to testify of God's goodness! She said she planned to nap for the rest of the day and prepare for her husband's return.
We surmised that what she and her husband experienced was what God truly intends for all married couples. You see, God intends for our sexual intimacy to be fresh, exciting, a reflection of selfless love, and for our sex lives to enhance and overflow to all areas of our lives. God wants us to have PHENOMENAL sex!! And he wants us to have it often, not every once in a while.
"Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love." ~ Proverbs 5:18-19
During phenomenal sex, the husband intentionally places his wife's needs before his. Through foreplay, kissing, touching, and caressing her in all the ways he knows please her, he shows her that he loves her, which is his God-given role in their marriage.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" ~ Ephesians 5:25
I can attest that when a wife orgasms, she experiences many sensations and feelings at once: freedom, euphoria, healing, warmth, sensitivity, beauty... When those feelings are coupled with love and tenderness, she sees her husband in different, new ways. She notices him. She regards him. She prefers him over anyone or anything else. She praises him. She admires him. She sees him as God sees him: He is her king!
Long after the act is over, she wants nothing more than to focus on him. Aside from God, nothing else matters to her. She doesn't distract herself. All she can manage to do is think of ways to please him the next time she sees him. She desires to fulfill her role as a wife: she intentionally submits herself to her husband and plans for ways she can show him respect. It's literally all she can do.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." ~ Ephesians 5:22
So when my friend shared this news with me, I wasn't surprised that she felt like all she could do was prepare for her husbands return because she wanted to do him good. In doing so, her kids would notice how attentive she was being to their father. They would see that Daddy had a lighter, peppier step [because Mommy pleased him as well]. There are so many benefits and fruits of walking in God's love!
One of my daily affirmations for our marriage is this:
"Father, I pray and thank you that our sexual intimacy together will continue to be fresh, positive and a reflection of selfless love and that our bodies always satisfy one another. Lorenzo is my beloved and I am his. We are one flesh. I confess that our marriage grows stronger day by day in the bond of unity because it is founded on Your love."
And the "Happy Marriage Cycle" continues. There is peace and harmony in our home because we are willfully and intentionally having phenomenal sex!
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." ~ Ephesians 5:21 (NKJV)
I pray that every couple who reads this Wedded WHOAment experiences PHENOMENAL sex with your spouse! I also encourage you to share with other married couples, encouraging them to do it (pun intended) as well! It's another way for us Christian married couples to positively influence others! I look forward to hearing all about your "Love Hangovers!"