Person A was all excited about losing weight and she decided to share the information with Person B. (Ok, for the flow of the story, let’s call them “Tina” and “Tammy”). So this is how it went:
Person A (“Tina”): “Hey girl, look at me! (Tina turns around in a circle so that her friend can get a good view.) Do you notice anything different?”
Person B (“Tammy”): “Um. Did you change your hair? Wait. You lost weight!?”
Tina: “That’s right! I started two Sundays ago. So far I’ve lost about 17 pounds!”
Now let me give you some background: Tammy and Tina are good friends. They talk almost every day. Tammy was even in Tina’s wedding. They go way back.
Tammy has lost about 45 pounds in the past year or so. She eats in moderation and exercises regularly. Tina has been on yo-yo diets and fads for as long as they have been friends.
Tammy: “You look great and I commend you for the weight loss! I am proud of you for being able to stick to it.” (Tammy gives Tina a hug). “But that’s a lot of weight to lose in two weeks. Are you remembering to eat? I don’t want you starving yourself to lose weight. The key is eating healthier and exercising.”
Tina (IN OFFENSE): “You are such a hater, Tammy! John, my new man, has me on this special diet and he’s telling me when, what and how much to eat. He lets me eat anything green and I drink this special juice. He also got me a free pass at the gym and tells me what exercises to do! He’s been off and on this program a few times and does it whenever he wants to lose weight. So I don’t need your advice!”
With her feelings hurt, Tina storms off.
So Tammy, confused by why her friend is so upset, comes to me and another person ("Sarah) and here is our conversation:
Tammy: “… and then she stormed off. Do you think I was wrong for telling her the truth? I am definitely not hating on her progress. She’s my friend and I want to see her succeed. I just want her to do the right way. I know from past experience that you have to eat right and exercise to lose weight, so I was just sharing that with her.”
Sarah: “Honestly, this would have made me feel salty as well. She’s all excited and hyped up off of her initial loss and you tell her ‘Great, BUT…’ Yeah, my feelings would have been CRUSHED. When you admit a loss to someone you hope they will be motivating and optimistic, ya know? Not that you were wrong in your assessment… you could have let her go on. When she came back for help, then you could have told her the right things to do.”
Tiffany: “Yeh, but Sarah, wouldn’t you expect a true friend to tell you the truth, even if it hurts — especially since you have seen their proof that what they are telling you actually works? Why would she wait for her friend to fail before telling her the truth?”
And enters my *WHOAment…
In the past few weeks or so, my Heavenly Father has been using every day situations like this one to bring the Word of God to life. In that brief exchange with these two women, God confirmed things for me (and convicted me at the same time):
Wisdom is learning through someone else’s experience! If someone close to you has been in your shoes and offers you advice, even if it hurts, listen and take heed – especially if you have seen their track record and know they have been successful. It may save you a lot of energy, time, grief and, perhaps, even money in the long haul! (Proverbs 1)
There is always opportunity for someone to take offense but that doesn’t mean that offense has to be taken! Tina believed she was helping her friend by offering her advice. But her friend took it the wrong way and stormed off in offense. You can’t control other people, just how you react to them. (Stop Trippin’) (Matthew 18:7)
* Lie not one to another… A true friend should always tell you the truth in love. (Colossians 3:9)
Now, that my Father has made the Word even more plain, the next step is for me to be a doer! Part of being a good disciple is learning (and doing)!
No matter if you learn from my blogs or through another person, get an understanding of His Word and apply it your life!