I realize that I've come a long way. Yet, I have a long way to go. I can feel and see myself being transformed into the virtuous woman God destined and called me to be. God continuously reveals things I need to let go of so that He can fine-tune me. While He is purging things from me that aren't like Him, sometimes my flesh wants to hold on to them. Sort of like a child holds on to a security blanket well after he's matured to the point of needing it.
One of the characteristics I need to let go is the desire to please everyone. Being transparent, this has been a hot button topic in our marriage. I've mentioned it before that one of the things that I love about LT is his gift to see the "bigger picture". When we set out to complete a task, he can see the finished product long before I even wrap my brain around the fact that there is even a project to complete. Because of this gift, he is an excellent leader. There are times when he will make decisions for our family and I will be in total agreement. I follow him and it's all good. There are other times, though, that my desire to please other people compels me more than doing what is right. Within a split moment, I will let the opinions and thoughts of others take over. In a nano-second, everything that we have discussed and planned is lost because of what I think "Susie May" or "Tom Tim" will say about me if I say or do that. It's only after I make a totally opposite decision than what we've agreed and see the disappointment on LT's face that I know exactly where I went wrong. Then the apologies come and I am pleading for his assistance to get out of whatever jam I've placed us in.
"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" ~ Amos 3:3 (NKJV)
"For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church." ~ Ephesians 5:23
But get this: Just as easy as it for me to try to please everyone else and not my spouse, I recognize that I tend to do the same with my Heavenly Father. There are times when I know He's instructed me to do or say something and with all my fervent willingness, I set out to do it, but once it comes down to completing the task, I falter. Not always for the desire to please others, but the desire to please myself. If it doesn't "feel" or "look" right, I may deter from the plan, thinking that taking another route may be OK because it's seems easier.
"There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death."
~ Proverbs 14:12 (NKJV)
For example, there are times when I've heard Him say that people need to hear my testimonies of how far I've come and how I got here. Yet, I tend to think that if I let people know "all my dirty secrets", they may see me differently. But even as I type this, I can hear Him saying. "Exactly, TC! I want people to know that your real life is not perfect but that I am molding you and creating a new person. I need you to tell people about your past so they can see Me in you now." (WHOAment!)
Separating myself from the opinions of others is a process. It's something I've done my entire life. I've always desired to be the "liked one". But it's time for me to mature and realize that I don't need that security blanket. If I am following and honoring God, I am obedient to Him and my life will shine. I will follow my husband because God instructed me to do it. People will be drawn to me. Not only because they like me but because they respect me and know that I have a standard that I am not willing to compromise. I have an assignment and only God's thoughts about me matter. When I please God and follow what He wants me to do, I am bound for success.
"Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us." ~ Hebrews 12:1 (TLB)
One of the visions I have for this blog is to draw people to Christ through my words. I intend to use my life to reflect all that is possible through faith in God and a relationship with Him. I pray that my transparency and desire to be more Christ-like will encourage those who come in contact with me. So going forward, you may see a different side of TC. But as you go on this journey with me, I guarantee we will be blessed for it. I'm excited!
"I will tell of the loving-kindnesses of God. I will praise him for all he has done; I will rejoice in his great goodness to Israel, which he has granted in accordance with his mercy and love." Isaiah 63:7
Note From TC: Let's chat: What are things you know God wants to purge from you so that you can be the person He's called? Change is a choice.